Discussion :

[chlebta*tsotsi]

Salut, Voici ma lettre de motivation en anglais je veux votre aide pour la corriger et vos remarque aussi :

I am writing to express my keen interest in the role of “XXXX ”as advertised on “XXXX”

I’m fresh graduated from master degree of computer systems engineering, “Ecole Supérieur de Technologie et d’informatique Carthage( Superior School of Technology and Computer Science)”, also I have a “Licence” degree of computer science. University allowed me to gain valuable skills as OOP fundamentals, Software developments methodologies, Design pattern, Collaborative work…

I’m energetic, hard worker, versatile and talented software engineer looking more challenging roles and work at a higher designation.
I have been in two internship as .Net Developer at Insurance company (for 5 months) and at Prologic-solutions (for 4 months) this grant me polish some of my skill like C#, JAVASCRIPT, HTML, CSS…
Also I have an experience in mobile development( android) gained from academic project and freelance jobs.

I am available for an online interview at any time, and should you require any further information then please do not hesitate to contact me. In the meantime I thank you sincerely for taking the time to read my application, and I very much look forward to an opportunity to speak to you in more detail regarding this position.

[Carhiboux]

Versatile est très péjoratif comme adjectif. En général, cela désigne quelqu’un qui est soupe au lait, lunatique...

Looking FOR something.

I’m fresh graduated from => I've freshly graduated from ...

"this grant me polish some of my skill like" => this allowed me to polish some of my skills like

"and work at a higher designation" => designation?

"I am available for an online interview at any time" => tournure étrange, j'aurais plutôt mis : "I stay at your disposal for an online ..."

more detailS

[fiftytwo]

Voici qqes unes de tes erreurs , je tai relevé les plus grossieres

I’m energetic .... a higher designation. ..... I have been in two internship ..... grant me polish some of my skill .... should you require any further information ... I very much look forward .... speak to you in more detail

Bon , alors dans le désordre , soit c'est pas bon au niveau de l'orthographe , soit la grammaire/syntaxe , soit tu fais de la traduction bete et mechante. Tu peux t'inspirer de samples disponibles sur le net et ensuite personnaliser le contenu , sinon repartir de zero.

[chlebta*tsotsi]

Voici une 2eme version après correction :

I am writing to express my keen interest in the role of “XXXX ”as advertised on “XXXX”

I’ve freshly graduated from master degree of computer systems engineering, “Ecole Supérieur de Technologie et d’informatique Carthage(ESTI), also I have a “Licence” degree of computer science. University allowed me to gain many valuable skills as OOP fundamentals, Software developments methodologies, Design pattern, Collaborative work…

An energetic, hard worker and talented developer passionate by programming especially software engineering, mobile and back-end development looking for job and more challenging roles in IT.
I’ve worked at “Mutuelle assurance de l'enseignement” for 5 months as internship and at Prologic-solutions for 4 month as .Net developer. Also I’ve worked on mobile development, Android, project as freelancer and academic project. Those experiences granted me to polish my programming skills and to get used on the Android SDK.

I stay at your disposal for any further information. In the meantime I thank you sincerely for taking the time to read my application, and I very much look forward to an opportunity to speak to you in more detail regarding this position.

[weed]

Je pense que c'est trop tard pour ma part,
- je n'aurais pas indiqué le nom de mon école, mais juste précisé que je suis diplomé "degree of computer systems engineering".
Tu vas trop dans les détails, c'est trop lourd à lire.
- je n'aurais pas commencé ma phrase par un "Je" mais plutot : "diplomé ... blabla", j'ai acquis des compétences ...

Je trouves tes phrases beaucoup trop lourde et pas assez fluide à lire